Wow, has it really been since July '06 that I posted? So much has happened. I thought about creating a new blog to go off to a different direction but I realized that awakening to wisdom fits the theme of things I have experienced perfectly. After all, isn't that what we do throughout our lives?

I have recently discovered medical blogs. My own will, for the most part, probably turn into the same. I hope to deviate from time to time with enough worldly observation to keep things interesting.

A good day to begin again.

I have been procrastinating over updating my blog. So much has happened, I am so far behind that I will never catch up! I've decided to start from this point anew. Occasionally I will throw in an excerpt from my journal. I've been honored with the friendship of a Native American soldier/warrior/teacher. We had so much fun together, then he went off to Iraq. Oh yes! He came back whole and sane, but I haven't seen him since that final tearful, gut-wrenching day that we said goodbye. It has been over two years since I have physically seen him. I tell him that I must see him soon or I will continue to believe that he is a ghost. Many of my journal entries come from these experiences.

Where Have I Been?

Criusing the blogs from my brother and sister, I ran across my own long forgotten blog. I recently had a discussion with a co-worker about how I have become so unbalanced. I have had vivid dreams, and no desire to record or interpret them. I haven't meditated in the middle of a pile of sage, or prayed to the four directions in a few months. I've wandered from my Native studies and the wonderful Sioux language books provided by my loving, giving brother Stan. Perhaps moving back into town has affected this change, I don't know, but I am aware of the imbalance and ready to correct it. So, fellow bloggers, I intend to reactivate my blog.
My chronological order may be amiss as I try to recap missing months. Or, I may decide to simply start from this point on....not sure yet.
As I was reading Stan's blog, the Buddist advice meant for himself was right there for me when I needed it. As I was swirling around in ungrounded chaos, becoming more and more negative, falling into the grumbling abyss of permanently disgruntled co-workers and becoming increasingly emotionally exhausted, I wandered onto Stan's blog, and there it was, simple, naked, obvious, logical truth. "The Buddhist approach to developing this great and limitless joy is to train (as in meditation) in being present, staying with the present moment - being with ourselves, our thoughts, our emotions - without judgement - without always needing to say yes or no, for or against."
How could I have forgotten the basics ? Whenever faced with a challenge, or question that I don't know the answer to, I feel pressure to come up with the "right" answer. The "right" answer is a very subjective thing. We don't come up with it, it already exists. While we are spending our time trying to find it, we push it farther away. Our judgements cloud the obvious. I believe we need to feel it, not think it.

Notsothanks-giving

Ahh, Thanksgiving. I have taken to not celebrating this day, and instead, signed up to work, so someone else (who actually HAS a family) may be at home. To me, Thanksgiving signifies the beginning of the slow and very painful destruction of the earth and the indiginous people of "America". The day brings to mind the huge self interest egos of europe. The concepts of land ownership and the cramming of Christianity down the throats of anyone didn't practice it. And still, I know some Native Americans who celebrate the holiday without a second thought. I wish I could be more like them.
Through my studies I have learned that most Native leaders know that change is inevitable and seek to embrace those aspects of change that are for the greater good of the people. The trick is to not lose sight of your self, your traditions and customs, or your ancestral heritage while enjoying the spoils of change.....like crisp turkey skin.

Spirit woman

My energies are up, both physical and spiritual. When my spiritual energy is high, I become more creative, more receptive to spirit visitation, I dream more, and I am in good humor.
Last week I heard someone speak my name two seperate times while walking around the house. I dismissed the incidents, blaming the sound of the door swinging on it's hinges mimicking voice. Sunday morning I heard my name spoken so clearly and loudly, that it woke me up from my sleep. It was a female voice that I did not quite recognize. I realize now that I have dreamt of the same woman two or three times, and each time she has been giving me a message. Perhaps, after all of the failed attempts at trying to "meet" my spirit guide, she has come to me on her own terms.

Beginnings

(No matter how many times I type it, the word doesn't look right...)
I have decided to create a blog because my sister and brother have both created one and I think it is a cool idea, but also because I would like to get my views and thoughts out to the universe where they may do some good. I believe that perceptions are to be shared, even if you think they pertain solely to yourself.
I create this blog also in search of a teacher of natural wisdom. If you are out there you will find me. My teachers have come to me so far as books and the four-leggeds. I understand the four-leggeds better!